Monday, March 25, 2013


Last week, I was interviewed by Bill Thompson of The Bookcast.

I was nervous as hell. I get tongue-tied easily, so I knew exactly what was going to happen: I would start talking and go completely blank. It happens a lot. The worst: back when I was twenty or so, I was chit-chatting with an adult (remember when adults made you nervous?), and he asked me what I did for Christmas. This is what I said, almost verbatim.:

"I uh. Uhh. I... I. I. Ha ha ha!  Jeez. I can't remember."

Only I remember this stuttering going on for about five minutes while he smiled politely. EVERY THOUGHT DISAPPEARED FROM MY MIND.

That only happened twice during the interview, and Bill edited those bits out. I need him to do this for every conversation I have, every day of my life.

That being said: I had a FANTASTIC time, and if you're an indie author, do yourself a favor and check out The Bookcast. Send in an interview request: It is incredibly easy to do. Even though I was nervous, it went really well. Except for the part where I got too hot and tried to quietly turn on my ceiling fan and accidentally pulled the entire chain out. That part was not according to plan.
Listen to the interview below, or at The Bookcast!

Interview with Robert Chatham "Noisome Beasts"

Friday, March 15, 2013


At this point, Noisome Beasts has been out for two weeks and has sold an average of nearly a copy a day. Right now, I'm fielding a lot of questions from book clubs.

In the interest of saving time, here is some trivia about Noisome Beasts.

  • The book is a metaphor for the book. As I wrote it, I was pretty sure that no one would ever read it, and that it would be the only book I'd ever write. And at the same time, I hoped that in the distant future, robots would worship it.
  • I am Todd. Rebecca is definitely Edgar.
  • I used to really like Wilson Phillips and Phil Collins. When I think back on it, I wonder what was wrong with my parents. Why did they let me do that?
  • I am the worst on road trips, because, like Todd, I have to go to the bathroom frequently. The More You Know! The truck stop is a real place where I made Rebecca stop. I still regret it to this very day.
  • You have to go to the Dairy Queen on road trips. You just do.
  • Reverend Wayne Crumlick's sermon is a real thing that I had to sit through when I was dating Rebecca. Except the real life sermon went on and on and on, forever and ever.
  • I wish I knew where that neon model Frankenstein's Monster was, because it was GREAT, even though it was lumpy with model cement.

Sunday, March 10, 2013

Noisome Beasts: Published!

No one likes an infodump! Big chunk of information and links all smooshed together like a sandwich left in your back pocket. But I have some news, and so this is as good a time as any to take the opportunity for a massive infodump.

Noisome Beasts is finally up on the Amazon Kindle store! It's good news. Noisome Beasts was originally released on Torrent sites and five years ago; since then, it's been downloaded over ten thousand times. Ten thousand times!

And yet I'm not sure how to get my book discovered outside of my circle of friends. Right now, it's relatively unknown.
So why NOT post some social network links? And whoever's reading this: if you'd like to swap links and promote one another, let's try it! Let's make these dreams come true.

My Facebook author page!

My Amazon author page!

My Goodreads author page!

This summer, I plan on posting six short story collections before I release "The Dead Rise." That book that's been floating around since I started this blog four years ago. One day, fame will be MINE. Until then, yeah. Just keep plugging away!